Understanding The Supermom Trap
What is it in moms’ that makes us feel we have to take on the SuperMom identity? What makes us put on that cape?
If you talk to working mothers that you know, or even examine your own experiences, falling into the SuperMom trap is common. (more…)
Calming Anger By Developing Emotional Responsibility
We all get angry sometimes. It is a natural reaction to events that lead us to believe that we deserve better or someone has wronged us and we feel that they absolutely must not do that to us as it is not fair and undeserved. But what is anger?
“Chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. (more…)
Leadership In The Insurance Industry
Purchasing insurance – any kind of insurance – is an important purchase. When you purchase insurance, you’re purchasing a safety net – one that will catch you should an accident or tragedy strike. It’s no surprise, then, that you want to look for insurance companies that exude leadership in the insurance industry. (more…)
The Wisdom Of Controlling Your Genetic Blueprint
Biology is entering into a paradigm shift finally giving up the theory that we are all controlled by our genes.
Current science beliefs that we are not as powerful as our genes. The problem with this belief system is it extends to such a degree that it makes us irresponsible. (more…)
Getting Started In Your Home Business
When it comes to starting a home business, some people always seem to know exactly what type of business they want to start, however, they just cannot bring themselves to take action and get started. They use excuses to justify their procrastination…
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Who`s Responsible For My Feelings?
I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted in the development of a profound healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use throughout the day (free course available - see resource box at the end of the article). Inner Bonding is a process that, when practiced, creates the ability to take full responsibility for all our own feelings and behavior.
One of our greatest challenges is to understand what it means to take personal responsibility for our own feelings and behavior. This is especially difficult when someone is behaving in a way that feels unloving to us — attacking, blaming, lying, guilting, and so on. It is so easy to believe that our unhappy feelings are coming from their behavior rather than from our own response to their behavior.
If we pay careful attention to our feelings, we will discover that it is not another’s behavior that is creating our unhappiness but rather our own unloving response. When we respond to another’s unloving behavior by getting angry, blaming, withdrawing, complying, or ignoring it, we will likely end up feeling badly. Our own unloving behavior towards another is also unloving toward our own Inner Child. For example, if we respond to another’s anger by getting angry back rather than setting an appropriate limit against being attacked, our Inner Child will not feel safe. We have not responded from our loving Adult in a way that leads to being treated respectfully. Instead, we have responded from our wounded self, trying to have control over the other’s behavior. Since the other is likely to respond with more anger or withdrawal, our Inner Child ends up feeling badly from the interaction.
I have discovered that whenever I do not set good limits against being treated badly - such as disengaging from the interaction and stating that I don’t want to talk when there is anger or blame - or I respond with anger or blame to another’s anger or blame, I feel awful. It is so easy to think I feel awful because of how I have been treated by the other person rather than because of how I am treating myself and others. When my Adult is present and I respond to another’s anger, blame or other violating behavior by either moving into an intent to learn and/or setting an appropriate limit without anger, shaming or blaming, I feel terrific. In fact, I feel on top of the world. It has been deeply gratifying to me to know that my feelings are always my responsibility because then I can do something about feeling badly — I can practice responding lovingly no matter what.
On one of my morning walks while dialoguing with my spiritual Guidance, she told me that one of my soul’s lessons is to learn to respond lovingly no matter what — no conditions under which it is okay to respond unlovingly. I find this very challenging. As soon as I get it right in one situation, my Guidance arranges for me to be challenged by new situations. This appears to be the way our souls grow when we have opted for spiritual growth. However, we are never given more than we can handle, and each time I manage to respond lovingly in a new situation, my Inner Child feels more and more loved, safe, and valued.
It is so easy to revert to our wounded self and claim that this time my feelings are not my responsibility. This time it really is the other person’s fault. This time they have gone too far and no one could expect me to feel okay in this situation. But each time I manage to keep my Adult present and take good care of my Inner Child, the lesson hits home anew — all my feelings really are my responsibility.
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Argue With Yourself And Improve Your Health
Even as a child, James was described by teachers and his parents as a happy optimist. As the story goes, one day his parents decided to play a joke on him and test his attitude by requiring him to spend an afternoon cleaning deserted stables at what had been a local racetrack.
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Moral Obligation & Responsibility
Chances are you have seen some type of disturbance in your lifetime. Whether it was a bully picking on someone or a piece of trash on the ground, disturbances happen daily on several different levels. Some people address them and others wait or assume someone else will handle the situation.
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Who Is Responsible For Solving All Of Life’s Problems?
What are the biggest problems facing the individual these days? Although they will vary from person to person, generally in the Western society I see the following four problems:
1. Unhappiness
2. Health issues (in the majority of cases this is a weight problem)
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Accepting A Life Of Simplicity
Once we discover our purpose we then have to make a commitment to pursue that purpose. Often we discover that our lifestyles will be altered once that commitment is made. Perhaps we have to live with less. We are then challenged to redefine our basic needs verses wants.
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