Allow Pain In Your Life
As with everything in life, there is a time to experience hurt and pain. Each one of us will feel these emotions, and when the time comes it is good to allow them to exist. It is okay. Feel the hurt and pain, it will teach about your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t be afraid. The day we came into this world we felt hurt and pain, and yet we have managed to survive.
Why spend your life fearing and running from these negative emotions. If you do, you will not fully experience the flip side of this negativity, which are the feelings of joy and happiness. You will learn to truly appreciate a blue sky when your skies have been grey and cloudy.
Every emotion, even an unpleasant one, has a purpose in our lives. Experiencing unpleasant emotions strengthen our character muscles and prepare us for greater challenges and blessings in lives. For example, can you imagine how devastating it would be for an individual if they were never allowed the opportunities of regrouping from minor hurts and disappointments in love relationships, and then suddenly had to endure a great loss such as, divorce or death? Minor hurts, disappointments, and trials help us to know that happiness can be restored after loss. If we are constantly avoiding normal hurt and pain in our day-to-day lives, we may not be able to handle great loss once it comes. Make no mistake; as long as people are dying and changing, great loss will come.
If you are avoiding entering a relationship for fear of being hurt, don’t. As long as we are interacting with any living being, we will be hurt, it is unavoidable. Conversely, we will experience a great amount of joy and contentment when sharing with others.
Allow pain’s purpose to work in your life and in your relationships. You will find that pain promotes growth through appreciation and strength through experience. Your relationship will be deeper and stronger once you have experienced a little hurt and pain. You will look back and feel proud of the understanding you have developed, and the value that has been built into your love life.
Keep this in mind: Pain has an expiration date. It is okay to experience hurt and pain, but recognize that those emotions expire. It is critical to check the expiration date before the feelings turn sour and bitter. If you find yourself constantly feeling angry and bitter, and you are unable to let go of a wrong that was done to you, then the expiration date on hurt and pain has probably passed. Too many of us women are living our lives filled with anger and toxicity because someone has “done us wrong.” We carry a martyr banner of hurt and pain because we are now single mothers, fooled lovers, or dismissed wives. Life has no guarantee. You may find that the man you thought was “the one” is now gone forever. Don’t feel ashamed of being hurt, but don’t wallow in it until you are bitter.
About the Author:
Brooke Brimm has a Master’s degree in Professional Counseling and 8 years of experience in the field of Human Science. She has been married since 1993 and has two beautiful daughters. Ms. Brimm authors an ezine, Loves Gumbo, in which she discusses love, relationships, and friendships in today’s society. To join email: lovesgumbo@comcast.net